Forgiving Ourselves
Listen: 4-min read
Summary: What’s the difference between self-worth and self-esteem? We're not just human beings. We're also souls. Part of the soul's journey is to find purpose and unwavering self-worth despite the struggles of our experiences on Earth.
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How often have you wished that you didn't use words of anger in a conversation, that you made this one last visit before someone died, that you would have had the courage to say NO, be less trusting, be kinder, and so on?
We all know what it's like to not live up to our standards or respond poorly to a situation when in hindsight, we think, "Why didn't I do it differently?"
Of course, it's always easier in hindsight; we know that. So in the best-case scenario, we learn from the situation and move on.
Often, our shortcomings mesh with guilt and shame, the fear of being judged by others, and other unpleasant feelings and emotions.
And even if we bravely take responsibility for our actions, we are often left alone with those uncomfortable feelings I just mentioned. They keep lingering - it reminds me of the Zen story of the two monks where the younger one couldn't let go of the thought that the older monk had carried a woman across the river even though touching women was forbidden. The older monk happily continued the journey, whereas the younger remained stuck with that past incident.
We can't change the past, so reflecting on how we could have done differently is helping us to create more awareness, find new resources to avoid the same mistakes in the future, and make better choices to live an enriching life.
And so, what can we do to release our negative self-judgment, criticism, shame, or guilt about something we did that wasn't our greatest moment?
Many strategies help us with self-forgiveness: accepting responsibility for our mistakes, reminding ourselves that we aren't perfect, making amends, putting things into perspective, etc.
These are great strategies, yet they can remain superficial when we don't explore the needs we had and tried to meet in the situation.
When we understand our needs in that situation, it's much easier to find empathy and compassion for ourselves. It's the first step to determine what better ways of being with ourselves we can implement to fulfill these needs.
When we work towards better understanding ourselves and our needs, we will notice that we are more inclined to forgive ourselves and others. And when that happens, we allow new, life-forwarding energy to enrich our relationship with others and ourselves.
Thank you for watching this video.
As always, feel free to comment on what resonated with you. Please also share my videos with others if you think they would benefit. Thank you.
I look forward to seeing you here again next Thursday.
Until then, take good care.