The Positive Side of The Inner Critic
Listen: 3-min read
Summary: The inner critic is the voice that tells us that we should second guess ourselves or that we aren’t good enough. However, when we turn towards the inner critic to listen and understand the underlying message that it wants us to hear, then we can learn to not let it take over.
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Last week I spoke about embracing your positive and unpleasant feelings as they are all part of your emotional landscape.
This week, I'll share a few thoughts on the inner critic and how we may benefit from turning towards it rather than wanting to drown its voice.
We all have parts that either support us or put us down. And in the same way emotions lead us to an inner place that requires some caretaking, the critical inner voice will also benefit from our attention.
Often, we aren't even aware of that critical voice - we believe that's just how we are. However, once we become more aware of the internal monologue, we realize that it can vary in intensity depending on the topic. For example, it might be lenient regarding tidiness but goes berserk when we lose in a game or can't resist another cookie. I am sure you all have areas where that inner voice could go on and on and on.
Now, the question is - what's going on for that part from its point of view?
What might it be worried about? What does it not want to happen to you?
Start creating a relationship with that critical part, and you will notice that, over time, it loosens its grip, becoming softer and more forgiving.
Take the angry mother who scolds her child after the little one had a fall. Her anger may be the outward expression of worry for the child's safety. Likewise, the inner critic's harshness is a sign of deep concern.
It cares deeply for your wellbeing and safety, but tragically it took on the role of the villain, the one who is never satisfied, makes your life miserable, and has nothing good to say about you.
As always, my suggestion is to turn towards it.
Keeping it company and getting to know it better to discover its concerns helps this critical part realize that you are now here to take over. The more it can trust that you are capable of doing that, the less anxious and intense it will be.
If this is a new concept, you might want to try it.