Is it Time For New Beginnings?

January 1st holds hope for many people who see it as a time to implement New Year’s resolutions and an energetic turning point for something new and better. Being a day really no different than the day before, January 1st is as good a day to initiate change as any. Every day of the year, actually, is an invitation to start anew.

The question is - is it time for new beginnings?

Can you listen within and sense if you have the energy, the resources, and readiness for a change? What is the push, the “why”, for needing something different? Is it based on lack, such as a belief that we are not good enough and need to improve? Perhaps it is a deeper inner knowing that another growth spurt is afoot?

Is it time for a fresh start? 

Starting over in life can mean a complete makeover - relocating to different countries, reskilling for new careers, ending or beginning a relationship, becoming a parent or an empty nester, recovering from an accident, or losing a partner.

It doesn't mean that our life has to completely shatter and disintegrate for us to rise.

It may feel that way. And yet, if we take the time to pause and reflect on the past, we realise that not everything was terrible. So it's worthwhile to keep the learnings, to clarify what hasn't been working, and to adjust.

Photo by Jukan Tateisi on Unsplash

Here are some steps to start planning your fresh start:

Take time alone to reflect 

Look at what is going well in life and what isn't. Take stock of your gifts, talents and qualities, as well as your challenges and shortcomings. This isn't about listening to your inner critic; instead, look at your life's map objectively to determine what adjustment in the established route may be needed.

It's time to be painfully honest with yourself.

For example, admitting you dislike managing a whole department will narrow down what you would like to do next in your career. Or you may realise more alone time is essential for your health and the health of your relationships.

Get Clear on values

Values change with time, of course, based on your experiences and where you are at in life. So, for example, while freedom might be a high value in your 20s and 30's, it will take a back seat once you start a family. 

Suppose you highly value knowledge and learning, and financial stability is at the bottom of your value list. In that case, it won't come as a surprise that money is spent on education rather than savings. 

Your values determine where you put your focus and energy. Where your thoughts go, the energy goes. 

Therefore, it is critical to be clear on what your values actually are and to assess whether your values align with where you are heading. 

Define Goals and Intentions

Starting afresh can be loaded with a long list of have to's, shoulds, need to's, and musts, which are the foundation of adopted behaviours and expectations from the outside world.

Once you are clear about your values, it's time to define what you want your life to look like. Setting realistic goals is essential to channel your energy in the right direction to create the life you want to live. A new beginning can require a new approach in many aspects of life. Therefore it helps to develop a clearly outlined road map for the most important destination and space for the aligned to-have's. 

How you reach your destination is even more important. The quality of your journey holds a lot of learning too. Are you willing to set clear boundaries not to drain your inner battery? Can you pause to smell the roses, to enjoy the view? How do you treat yourself and others in pursuing your new goals?

Building Resilience

Resilience is the capacity to recover and bounce back from a stressful event. 

Picking yourself up, brushing the dirt off your pants, and starting to walk again requires awareness and the capacity to see the learnings, recover and move on with life. 

As a toddler, stumbling, falling, and getting up to put one foot in front of the other, led you to walk confidently. Little children have this innate desire to master the skill of walking so they can explore their environment. So they get up again and again until they manage to walk, first a little wobbly but over time more stable. 

Life is like that - sometimes, we wobble and fall. However, not considering these falls a failure helps us to move forward. We may need to explore new perspectives and directions, adjust our pace, be okay with detours, let go of a few old, worn-out shoes, take care of our blisters, and then continue the journey. 

Explore available resources

Surround yourself with people who understand you and can be objective in their feedback when necessary. Modalities such as InnerDynamics Coaching can also allow you to explore emotional blocks and other limiting beliefs that could be keeping you from making decisions to change the way you live.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. “

-RITA MAE BROWN

Photo by William Zhang on Unsplash

If we start afresh with the same old belief patterns, behaviors, and perspectives is a sure recipe to remain stuck.

To see different results, it's essential to expand our understanding of who we are beneath the layers of social conditioning, outdated expectations, demands, and viewpoints of others.

Here is a list of recommended approaches and tools after I have experienced their benefits myself:

Human Design

It helps you to identify your energy type to make better decisions in life. Knowing your unique setup helps you better understand your habits, pitfalls, gifts, and talents so you can live your life in better alignment with who you are. If you would like to learn about Human Design in bite-size bits, check out this monthly subscription report “Living in HD”, written by a colleague of mine, Alexsandra P.

Enneagram

The Enneagram helps you discover your core belief that determines how you see the world and how this belief profoundly influences your way of creating and living life. 

Understanding your personality type brings more awareness of how you respond to life situations and how to move towards a higher expression of self.

The Work

The Work by Byron Katie is beneficial to examine the reality of stressful thoughts that influence your viewing of the world. 

Worksheets are a great guide to help you examine whether what you believe and think is true. 

Accountability Partner

For some, self-work is a well-established part of our daily routine. Often though, it helps to work together. I have a Focusing partner with whom I exchange regular Focusing sessions, and it's been vital to keeping the momentum going.

I recommend an accountability partner with whom you can check in regularly to discuss your progress in whatever you are implementing in life. 

I wish you courage and success in your new and not-so-new endeavors.